The Shaw household is full with his aunt, uncle, three cousins, Haylee and his dog. It’s warm, lit up with Christmas lights and decorations that have been around for about as long as he can remember. There’s plenty of food and drinks and music. Luckily everyone is getting along but it’s still just a little overwhelming for Grayson. He ducks out the back door when no one seems to be paying him any attention and sucks in a deep lungful of cold December air. It helps loosen the tension in his shoulders a bit and he pushes away from the door, leaning against a deck railing to light up a cigarette. He knows he’ll catch hell if he’s caught smoking but doesn’t think about it too much as he takes a long drag from it.

Holidays have always felt just a little off kilter ever since the first he spent without his mom. It’s not that Christmas has been bad - in fact he’s had some pretty great ones but it still feels like there’s a piece of the puzzle missing. He doesn’t mention it to anyone, especially his aunt as he knows that the subject of Cheryl Burke is still a sore subject for her. Dawn Shaw always tried to make every Christmas the greatest for all of her kids, including Grayson in all of the traditions they had. So he swallowed the questions and soldiered through each holiday season and tried to ignore the hole that’s left behind.

He glances over when he hears the door open and sees his aunt standing there. She frowns when she sees him with a cigarette in hand but only says, “We’re going to head for church in about 10 minutes.”

He nods and moves to put out his cigarette. “Okay. I’ll be ready to go,” He answers.

Dawn smiles at him as he steps towards her, “I showed Haylee a bunch of your baby pictures I’ve kept over the years.”

Grayson makes a face and can only imagine what pictures his girlfriend has been shown and knows the teasing that will come later. “Now she’ll probably hightail it out of here on the next flight to LA,” He says jokingly.

His aunt lets him slide past her into the house where it’s still warm and loud as everyone is spread out around the house finding their shoes and coats. But Grayson doesn’t feel as tense as he had a few minutes before. Dawn gives his shoulder a squeeze after she locks the door and says, “Doubtful. And I know this time of year isn’t the easiest on you but I’m glad you and Haylee are here for Christmas.” He blinks and can’t really find any words to answer and instead nods his head. By the time Grayson feels like he can form a sentence, she’s already disappeared down the hallway.

He finds his coat in the front hall closet and is buttoning it up when Haylee appears next to him. “There you are! Where’d you go?”

“Went to catch a breather. Hopefully they didn’t totally intimidate you,” He answers as he turns towards her.

“No but I have seen all the naked baby pictures!” She laughs and is swept away by his cousin Grace before he can think of a comeback.

Grayson just shakes his head and follows everyone out of the house and to their cars. He glances up as the moon finally makes an appearance from behind the clouds and lets out a sigh. He’s glad to be with his family and feels like the small hole of something missing is maybe just a little smaller this year.